I mean, what is the point? Changing the name of a thing doesn't change the thing, so what is really going on, what is the real change here? It is likely all about money and providing computer friendly statistics, so that schools can be scored against similar bodies with similar posh names pointing in the same direction. It's just a waste of time if you ask me, a power tripping little manoeuvre to appear on the outside that Britain has been changed forever, a lasting reminder of the nation's idiocy in voting them in for a second term, even after the suicides and the lies and the inspections from the united nations. I mean, really. What a bunch of blind fools.
Never the less, now we have this ridiculous law that surely has no place when there are people drowning in the ocean, there are bombs falling on houses and there are psychopaths trying to tell us that the religion of Islam is some kind of evil. This is disgusting, of all the things at all the times. Well, don't worry people, as soon as these picaroons have been ejected from their falsely claimed seat of power (read the billboards from 2010, tell me they are not a pack of lies), these stupid laws made by stupid people with only half an ounce of common sense that they must pass around like that fabled glass eye, who think they have the balls to run a country when they can't even listen to the people who voted them in? These laws will be repealed, given the right party gets in next time. Put a Labour party in power, give them a liberal democrat mix with some SNP and Green in the garnish and I think the ship can be steered back towards stable waters.
Rowan Blair Colver
David Cameron has probably placed the last nail in the coffin of his Conservative government today, when he decided to go against the joint professional opinion of the field he is affecting and change the rules once again. Even though the teaching union had specifically requested that schools be allowed to choose to become an academy or not, the Prime Minister today has given them the middle finger and told them to do as they're told. From today, all schools are to now become part of the modern academy structure, the legacy of the tyrannical Michael Gove who's name still sends shudders down any self respecting deputy head.
Last Monday, I dropped her off at the same time, and I was greeted by Yoga class. I have never tried Yoga, I'd like to but I am just tired a lot and extra things feel like a tall order right now. Perhaps when I feel like I am more alive and have done a bit more work on my social anxiety, I'll feel OK about going to a group. It's brilliant for me to know that she is going to these lessons, as paid for by the school which is free for us, I know that she is being educated in not only life skills but in self care and regulation. Adopting postures, holding them and being mindful about them is something that I know will aid her in her development, and ability to be herself more confidently in the future. Not that she needs any help with that! However a streak of new found independence wouldn't go amiss.
Sometimes we do things that just feel right, but make us feel so bad. When I decided to make Blood the theme for my online creative arts group, it was because earlier in the day I cut my finger and the sensation made me feel all manner of various things. Although thoroughly unpleasant, I knew from the size of it that I was not going to come to any harm. I felt faint, I felt queezy, I felt an flipping idiot for touching the wrong side of a razor. Colours began to flash before my eyes, and a part of me wanted to topple over sideways. Thick globules of red blood were dripping down my left thumb like irony tears of crimson.
Oh the drama.
Well, that certainly didn't feel right and it made me feel pretty terrible so that won't be happening again any time soon, I hope. But making an artistic muse out of the concept did feel right. This was sticky territory and I definitely knew it ought to be explored. So without further ado, noticing the date, I declared Blood to be the new theme.
And so it came to be that as the chairperson of this group, I was to show my support for self by taking part in my own challenge. Once upon a time, when I was not quite so well adjusted to myself, I was a victim of the self harming phase so many people tragically enter. It's a nightmare place to be in, the thoughts that harming self in some way helps self is an evil lie that human beings in times of need unfortunately cling to in a desperate last hope. For me, the seriousness got to a point where I seriously injured myself and I felt it entirely possible that my life was about to end. Luckily for me, it didn't, and around fifteen years down the line I can say it's never been so bad again. I have felt that darkness many times since, but never taken action to satisfy it.
A friend of mine who I am grateful for eternity to is responsible for discovering me in my predicament and for helping to patch me up. My human biology did the rest. I have a thick scar to remind me of my errors and my sheer good luck.
To make the piece, I used inks bought from Great Art on sketching paper with soft fine brushes.
In a way of expressing those terrible feelings, I decided to make something quite (for me) disturbing. I wanted to recreate on paper that desperation. The thought didn't occur to me straight away, in fact I had quite another idea at first, one which I will return to, but while I was thinking about what I could do, an idea came to mind. It then took me a good 2 days to materialise this concept onto paper, I literally had to summon up the bottle. As an artist, I've always found myself to be quite kind, I don't like to rock the boat and perhaps it's why when my boat gets rocked, I find it so hard to handle. So For once in my life, I am prepared to rock a few boats and hopefully spread the message that self harm is not something to travel the road down.
I have called this piece, “Coming of Age” as in the mirror, underneath the face of things, this is also a show of strength. The symbol of the child laying down its life in order to be replaced by the adult, usually in times of great need for personal responsibility, we grieve the passing of our old self in a spiritual suicide of ideals. We replace our self on the inside with a strong, integral, and steady soul. No self harm required.
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