I have tried other situations, and done okay in them for a while, but for some reason or other I've always been fairly independent and self reliant. It's been suggested recently that I have Asperger's syndrome, which is a form of high functioning autism that affects the way we feel the world. This makes perfect sense to me and would explain why despite everything being generally okay, I struggle to fall into line when it comes to the regular expectations.
That's why I do what I do, because I desire to be an active part of the community, a useful member of society, and I want to spend the best years I have doing something with my life that I can recount in the not so better years. Plus I want to earn money, of course, as we all do, and for me doing writing and blogging as a job is a bit of a gamble. Saying that, if I were to spend my time playing play station then I wouldn't even have a chance. At least this way I can build on something every day and with learned skills and applied knowledge, find myself in a good position.
I was authoring as a main job before I began writing blogs. However, when I was told I had to start work, knowing that in previous times when working for others I had great difficultly and became ill in one way or another, I chose to become self employed as an artist and content writer. Rather than looking for work as these things, I was fairly confident that I could do it for myself. As long as I work a full week with intention to earn money, I am able to claim the money I need to pay my rent and a little bit for food and bills. So that is what I do, and I'm really enjoying being a productive individual and using my energy for the good of so many.
After finding myself in front of a huge online audience, which is growing all the time, I knew that what I was to write about had to be of value. I didn't want to waste everyone's time with something that could be found anywhere. I had a desire to be of real use and so Alternative Fruit became an avenue for this. I've worked extremely hard over the past year or two to get the service up to a professional standard. It's true that when I read my old write-ups, I notice that I write much better now. It's the same when I go through the archives of this blog. I'm always getting better, which is to be expected.
The empowering and encouraging message of the Alternative Fruit site has really taken hold and begun to grow into a firm and fair site that offers a continually growing multi faceted media resource. The work done is methodical and great care is taken in choosing sources and resources to fuse the original ideas and writing that I put there. Being the one to put in the hours for everyone to read is a challenging job at times, the ads are there in the hope that someone buys something, and that way I get paid. I know that most people who use the ads do so because they like me and want me to do well, and that's a nice thought to bear in mind.
Having ploughed through several sociology books for Subway Scene, I've grown a lot more wise to the world of social science, as I hope you all have too. It had always been a burning question, “why don't people like me?” and to be honest, most people do, but my mind is one of those minds that finds a negative aspect and clings to it like a toddler clinging to its mother's leg. I went about answering that question in an abstract way, that involves the concept of alternative art movements. Knowing that I have a multicultural readership, I wanted to include everyone and so that angle for the blog was ideal. I have noticed a lack of feedback in that area, and I notice the most feedback in poetry, so I need to address the desires of the readers, as well as doing what I feel is right for me. This of course will be more write-ups about various interesting topics that take my fancy at the time. Perhaps it's time to move on from society and find something else to study. Let me know what you think of course. I'm happy to take suggestions.